{"id":8865,"date":"2022-01-14T19:41:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-15T03:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=8865"},"modified":"2025-06-27T06:59:05","modified_gmt":"2025-06-27T13:59:05","slug":"why-abuse-victims-stay-silent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/why-abuse-victims-stay-silent\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Victims of Abuse Stay Quiet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever wondered why victims stay quiet about the abuse they\u2019ve experienced?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In this article, we will unpack the answer to this question.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We will cover:&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">The important truth about abuse you might be overlooking&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">How abuse starts&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A few significant reasons victims remain silent&nbsp;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Let\u2019s have a look!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">What\u2019s Helpful to Understand&nbsp;<\/h2>\n<p>As an outsider, it&#8217;s hard to understand when someone who used to be close with you and share their life with you suddenly stops and hides details of their relationship. They may not resemble the friend you once knew.<\/p>\n<p>As you watch them slowly become a shell of their former self, you might begin to think, \u201cI would never allow myself to be in that situation.\u201d Or you might think to yourself that if you <em>were in the same situation, you<\/em> would never keep silent. You would certainly reach out to your friends for help. Wouldn\u2019t you?<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s helpful and important to know is that abuse doesn\u2019t happen all at once.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">How Abuse Starts<\/h3>\n<p>An abusive relationship doesn\u2019t start with a punch.<\/p>\n<p>It isn\u2019t as obvious as one might think.<\/p>\n<p>Most abusive relationships begin with an incredibly positive and romantic beginning where the victim attaches themself to their partner who lavishes them with love.<\/p>\n<p>In the subtlest of ways, abusive behaviors take place, little by little over time. After many failed attempts at conflict resolution, the victim starts to feel compelled to remain silent. They find themselves overcome with self-doubt and confusion.<\/p>\n<p>Also, most victims do not understand what they are experiencing is abuse.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Abuse Can Happen to Anyone<\/h3>\n<p>Abuse <strong>happens to all types of people.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It does <em>not<\/em> discriminate against persons. Victims can be male or female and come from varying backgrounds regarding ethnicity, economic status, or educational degree.<\/p>\n<p>When someone wonders if they are being abused or realizes they are dealing with abuse in their relationship, they will likely feel shame and fear, and they may be coerced into remaining silent. <strong>This makes it a struggle for a victim to speak about the abuse they experienced.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><\/strong>There are several compelling reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship.<\/p>\n<h2>Why Abuse Victims Stay Silent<\/h2>\n<p>There are several reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship:<\/p>\n<p>A few of those reasons include:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>The Stigma of Abuse<\/li>\n<li>Double Abuse\u00ae<\/li>\n<li>Fear of Retaliation<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Let\u2019s take a closer look at each of these.<\/p>\n<h3>The Stigma of Abuse<\/h3>\n<p>The stigma of abuse is real.<\/p>\n<p>Even if the victim gains a little confidence and considers speaking out about the abuse, the stigma causes them to reconsider.<\/p>\n<p>Why? Well, in our culture, it remains a reality that many people view victims with disdain or disbelief.<\/p>\n<p>Many people do not understand abuse nor are they knowledgeable about how people end up in destructive relationships. Their response can be quite harmful to the victim.<\/p>\n<p>We can see this in the stories that make headlines in news or on social media. Too often, when a victim comes forward the response from their social or professional communities is often to disbelieve, oppose, suppress, criticize, shun, or ostracize..<\/p>\n<p>For example, we all remember Dr. Larry Nassar and the USA Gymnastics.<\/p>\n<p>Time and time again, <strong>the victim becomes the accused<\/strong> within their surrounding circles.<\/p>\n<p>Although most victims will not have to share their story on a public platform, the message to victims has become clear: <em>many people do not want to believe that abuse happens.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Over time, people within abusive relationships lose the strength of their self-identity and struggle significantly with self-doubt.<\/p>\n<p>Most often, their abuser has been consistently demeaning them. They blame the victim using various false accusations.<\/p>\n<p>This makes the idea of exposing the secret life of abuse they have been living very difficult for the victim.<\/p>\n<p>This vulnerable state, coupled with the stigma of abuse, makes it nearly impossible to believe they will be well-received when they disclose to another.<\/p>\n<p>Until the victim becomes so desperate that they will risk judgment, it seems easier for them to remain silent.<\/p>\n<h3>Double Abuse\u00ae<\/h3>\n<p>Far too often, when the victim finally finds the courage to reach out for help, they are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Minimized<\/li>\n<li>Disbelieved<\/li>\n<li>Blamed<\/li>\n<li>Judged<\/li>\n<li>Ostracized<\/li>\n<li>Shamed<\/li>\n<li>Shunned<\/li>\n<li>Silenced<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>When a person responds this way, we call this \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/double-abuse\/\">Double Abuse<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We use the words Double Abuse because the response exacerbates the trauma from the Original Abuse, adding another layer of harm and creating a sense of hopelessness and despair.<\/p>\n<p><strong>This often escalates PTSD into Complex PTSD.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Those responding to someone who has been harmed by abuse might have unconscious biases against those who claim to be experiencing harm.<\/p>\n<p>Or they might be uneducated and ill-informed about healthy and helpful ways to respond to a person who has been abused.<\/p>\n<p>Whatever the reason, <strong>these types of responses are not ok.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The MEND Project was founded by Annette Oltmans to end Double Abuse\u00ae.<\/p>\n<p>She noticed it was the common thread within each individual story in every interview she had with hundreds of victims.<\/p>\n<p><em>Our team continues to see this thread in nearly <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/abuse-survivor-stories\/\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>every story shared<\/em><\/a><em>&nbsp;with us.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>The Fear of Retaliation<\/h3>\n<p>There are subtle undertones the victim receives from the abuser throughout their relationship that lead them to believe if they speak of what they have experienced, there will be consequences. These messages suggest <em>they cannot tell anyone<\/em> what happens in their relationship, or there will be retaliation.<\/p>\n<p>Their partner may also tell them directly that their relationship is confidential and sacred and that details about it are not to be shared with anyone.<\/p>\n<p>If the victim innocently shares something with a friend and their partner learns about it, they are likely to become offended or angry at the victim.<\/p>\n<p>They might punish the victim for their disclosure through <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/silent-treatment-abuse\/\" style=\"outline: none;\">the silent treatment<\/a> or slandering the victim to outsiders to undermine them and instill in them that they cannot share anything about the relationship with others.<\/p>\n<p>Invested in the relationship, <strong>the victim vows not to share again<\/strong><strong>,<\/strong> hoping peace will return to their relationship.<\/p>\n<p>There may also be times when the abuser threatens the victim with sabotaging their reputation or career, harming their children, destruction or property, or even physical violence.<\/p>\n<p>A victim living within the abusive dynamic knows from their experience that the perpetrator is capable of following through on their threats should the victim disclose to anyone outside of the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>The fear they experience is effective in accomplishing the abuser\u2019s goal.<\/p>\n<p><em>Fear<\/em> silences the victim.<\/p>\n<p>Even without overt threats of violence, the victim instinctively knows and believes they will be punished if they speak to anyone else.<\/p>\n<p>As a result of the destructive dynamics in their relationship, they live in an ongoing state of fear and stress.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, the fear that telling someone else might escalate the abuse silences the victim.<\/p>\n<h2>Conclusion<\/h2>\n<p>We hope you feel enlightened and equipped when a victim finds the courage to break their silence and comes to you for help.<\/p>\n<p>Gaining deeper insight and knowledge of the complex and complicated abuse dynamics in a relationship is key to understanding why victims remain silent.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s essential that you create a space where they can experience your compassion and feel safe speaking about all they have gone through.<\/p>\n<p>You can be the light they need and deserve. You can lead a victim to safety and healing through a compassionate listening ear, empathy, validation, and the patience it takes to allow victims to make choices that best fit their needs in the time <em>they<\/em> choose.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever wondered why victims stay quiet about the abuse they\u2019ve experienced?&nbsp; In this article, we will unpack the answer to this question.&nbsp; We will cover:&nbsp; The important truth about abuse you might be overlooking&nbsp; How abuse starts&nbsp; A few significant reasons victims remain silent&nbsp; Let\u2019s have a look!&nbsp; What\u2019s Helpful to Understand&nbsp; As [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":8868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Have you ever wondered why victims stay quiet about the abuse they\u2019ve experienced?&nbsp;<\/p><p>In this article, we will unpack the answer to this question.&nbsp;<\/p><p>We will cover:&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcec\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcef\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">The important truth about abuse you might be overlooking&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcf0\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">How abuse starts&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcee\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\" style=\"\">A few significant reasons victims remain silent&nbsp;<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p>Let\u2019s have a look!&nbsp;<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">What\u2019s Helpful to Understand&nbsp;<\/h2><p>As an outsider, it's hard to understand when someone who used to be close with you and share their life with you suddenly stops and hides details of their relationship. They may not resemble the friend you once knew.<\/p><p>As you watch them slowly become a shell of their former self, you might begin to think, \u201cI would never allow myself to be in that situation.\u201d Or you might think to yourself that if you <em>were in the same situation, you<\/em> would never keep silent. You would certainly reach out to your friends for help. Wouldn\u2019t you?<\/p><p>What\u2019s helpful and important to know is that abuse doesn\u2019t happen all at once.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1b388\">How Abuse Starts<\/h3><p>An abusive relationship doesn\u2019t start with a punch.<\/p><p>It isn\u2019t as obvious as one might think.<\/p><p>Most abusive relationships begin with an incredibly positive and romantic beginning where the victim attaches themself to their partner who lavishes them with love.<\/p><p>In the subtlest of ways, abusive behaviors take place, little by little over time. After many failed attempts at conflict resolution, the victim starts to feel compelled to remain silent. They find themselves overcome with self-doubt and confusion.<\/p><p>Also, most victims do not understand what they are experiencing is abuse.<\/p><h3 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1cfde\">Abuse Can Happen to Anyone<\/h3><p>Abuse <strong>happens to all types of people.<\/strong><\/p><p>It does <em>not<\/em> discriminate against persons. Victims can be male or female and come from varying backgrounds regarding ethnicity, economic status, or educational degree.<\/p><p>When someone wonders if they are being abused or realizes they are dealing with abuse in their relationship, they will likely feel shame and fear, and they may be coerced into remaining silent. <strong>This makes it a struggle for a victim to speak about the abuse they experienced.<\/strong><\/p><p><strong><\/strong>There are several compelling reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship.<\/p><h2 class=\"\">Why Abuse Victims Stay Silent<\/h2><p>There are several reasons victims keep silent while they are in an abusive relationship:<\/p><p>A few of those reasons include:<\/p><ol class=\"\"><li>The Stigma of Abuse<\/li><li>Double Abuse\u00ae<\/li><li>Fear of Retaliation<\/li><\/ol><p>Let\u2019s take a closer look at each of these.<\/p><h3 data-css=\"tve-u-192cac207ea\" class=\"\">The Stigma of Abuse<\/h3><p>The stigma of abuse is real.<\/p><p>Even if the victim gains a little confidence and considers speaking out about the abuse, the stigma causes them to reconsider.<\/p><p>Why? Well, in our culture, it remains a reality that many people view victims with disdain or disbelief.<\/p><p>Many people do not understand abuse nor are they knowledgeable about how people end up in destructive relationships. Their response can be quite harmful to the victim.<\/p><p>We can see this in the stories that make headlines in news or on social media. Too often, when a victim comes forward the response from their social or professional communities is often to disbelieve, oppose, suppress, criticize, shun, or ostracize..<\/p><p>For example, we all remember Dr. Larry Nassar and the USA Gymnastics.<\/p><p>Time and time again, <strong>the victim becomes the accused<\/strong> within their surrounding circles.<\/p><p>Although most victims will not have to share their story on a public platform, the message to victims has become clear: <em>many people do not want to believe that abuse happens.<\/em><\/p><p>Over time, people within abusive relationships lose the strength of their self-identity and struggle significantly with self-doubt.<\/p><p>Most often, their abuser has been consistently demeaning them. They blame the victim using various false accusations.<\/p><p>This makes the idea of exposing the secret life of abuse they have been living very difficult for the victim.<\/p><p>This vulnerable state, coupled with the stigma of abuse, makes it nearly impossible to believe they will be well-received when they disclose to another.<\/p><p>Until the victim becomes so desperate that they will risk judgment, it seems easier for them to remain silent.<\/p><h3 data-css=\"tve-u-192cac22aab\" class=\"\">Double Abuse\u00ae<\/h3><p>Far too often, when the victim finally finds the courage to reach out for help, they are:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>Minimized<\/li><li>Disbelieved<\/li><li>Blamed<\/li><li>Judged<\/li><li>Ostracized<\/li><li>Shamed<\/li><li>Shunned<\/li><li>Silenced<\/li><\/ul><p>When a person responds this way, we call this \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/double-abuse\/\">Double Abuse<\/a>.\u201d<\/p><p>We use the words Double Abuse because the response exacerbates the trauma from the Original Abuse, adding another layer of harm and creating a sense of hopelessness and despair.<\/p><p><strong>This often escalates PTSD into Complex PTSD.<\/strong><\/p><p>Those responding to someone who has been harmed by abuse might have unconscious biases against those who claim to be experiencing harm.<\/p><p>Or they might be uneducated and ill-informed about healthy and helpful ways to respond to a person who has been abused.<\/p><p>Whatever the reason, <strong>these types of responses are not ok.<\/strong><\/p><p>The MEND Project was founded by Annette Oltmans to end Double Abuse\u00ae.<\/p><p>She noticed it was the common thread within each individual story in every interview she had with hundreds of victims.<\/p><p><em>Our team continues to see this thread in nearly <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/abuse-survivor-stories\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\"><em>every story shared<\/em><\/a><em>&nbsp;with us.<\/em><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrive_leads_shortcode\"><div class=\"thrive-shortcode-config\" style=\"display: none !important;\">__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__{\"id\":\"7330\"}__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__<\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac2415e\">The Fear of Retaliation<\/h3><p>There are subtle undertones the victim receives from the abuser throughout their relationship that lead them to believe if they speak of what they have experienced, there will be consequences. These messages suggest <em>they cannot tell anyone<\/em> what happens in their relationship, or there will be retaliation.<\/p><p>Their partner may also tell them directly that their relationship is confidential and sacred and that details about it are not to be shared with anyone.<\/p><p>If the victim innocently shares something with a friend and their partner learns about it, they are likely to become offended or angry at the victim.<\/p><p>They might punish the victim for their disclosure through <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/silent-treatment-abuse\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">the silent treatment<\/a> or slandering the victim to outsiders to undermine them and instill in them that they cannot share anything about the relationship with others.<\/p><p>Invested in the relationship, <strong>the victim vows not to share again<\/strong><strong>,<\/strong> hoping peace will return to their relationship.<\/p><p>There may also be times when the abuser threatens the victim with sabotaging their reputation or career, harming their children, destruction or property, or even physical violence.<\/p><p>A victim living within the abusive dynamic knows from their experience that the perpetrator is capable of following through on their threats should the victim disclose to anyone outside of the relationship.<\/p><p>The fear they experience is effective in accomplishing the abuser\u2019s goal.<\/p><p><em>Fear<\/em> silences the victim.<\/p><p>Even without overt threats of violence, the victim instinctively knows and believes they will be punished if they speak to anyone else.<\/p><p>As a result of the destructive dynamics in their relationship, they live in an ongoing state of fear and stress.<\/p><p>Ultimately, the fear that telling someone else might escalate the abuse silences the victim.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192cac27394\">Conclusion<\/h2><p>We hope you feel enlightened and equipped when a victim finds the courage to break their silence and comes to you for help.<\/p><p>Gaining deeper insight and knowledge of the complex and complicated abuse dynamics in a relationship is key to understanding why victims remain silent.<\/p><p>It\u2019s essential that you create a space where they can experience your compassion and feel safe speaking about all they have gone through.<\/p><p>You can be the light they need and deserve. You can lead a victim to safety and healing through a compassionate listening ear, empathy, validation, and the patience it takes to allow victims to make choices that best fit their needs in the time <em>they<\/em> choose.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 7.5px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\"] { --tcb-local-color-icon: rgb(116,93,39); --tcb-local-color-var: rgb(116,93,39); --tve-icon-size: 20px; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcec\"] { margin-top: 0px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dceb\"] > :first-child { color: rgb(116, 93, 39); --tve-applied-color: rgb(116,93,39); }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dced\"] { line-height: 1.8em !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcee\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcef\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-192cab2dcf0\"] { padding-bottom: 5px !important; padding-top: 5px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1b388\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac1cfde\"] { font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac207ea\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac22aab\"] { font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac2415e\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; font-size: 25px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-192cac27394\"] { color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; --tve-applied-color: rgb(155,124,59) !important; }}","tve_user_custom_css":"","tve_globals":{"e":"1","font_cls":[]},"tcb2_ready":1,"tcb_editor_enabled":1,"tve_landing_page":"","_tve_header":"","_tve_footer":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-category-blog","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why Victims of Abuse Stay Quiet - The Mend Project<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do victims of abuse stay quiet? 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