{"id":7427,"date":"2024-09-22T05:03:00","date_gmt":"2024-09-22T12:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=7427"},"modified":"2026-03-25T12:05:06","modified_gmt":"2026-03-25T19:05:06","slug":"emotional-abuse-withholding","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/emotional-abuse-withholding\/","title":{"rendered":"The Harm of Withholding"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Is there someone in your life who refuses to communicate or listen? Or refuses to give you their love or affection? Or maybe they refuse to celebrate you or your good fortune?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>If you have ever experienced or felt these things in your relationship, you may have experienced withholding, which is an extremely damaging <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/emotional-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">type of emotional abuse<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Today, we are going to help you understand this tactic more deeply. You will learn:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">How a partner who withholds is engaging in harmful behavior<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">What withholding can look like in a relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">The hope available to those experiencing this kind of abuse<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Withholding: What Is It?<\/h2>\n<p>Withholding is when someone refuses to communicate, listen, or rejoice in one\u2019s good fortune as punishment. The abusive partner intentionally will not give what their partner wants or needs. It is one of the most toxic and damaging forms of emotional abuse.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Many think of withholding as refusing to give love and affection. While this is one example of how withholding is employed in a relationship, it is not the only.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A common form of withholding is when someone tries to control or dominate another person by refusing to communicate or listen.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The abuser who withholds does so as a means of using their affection, their attention, and their presence as a weapon against you. It is extremely damaging and destructive.<\/p>\n<p>That said, I want to highlight a very important note: A spouse or partner who refuses to show affection without offering an explanation is certainly withholding an important and needed aspect of a healthy relationship, yet:&nbsp;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Refraining from affection because you do not feel comfortable or do not trust the other person is a healthy form of boundary-setting. This should not be confused with withholding, which is intentionally done to control or dominate.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>There are many more ways withholding can manifest.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Examples of Withholding Include:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A partner who withholds communication in an important conversation or an argument.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A partner who refuses to listen to you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A partner who gives you the silent treatment as a form of punishment or refuses to spend time with you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A co-worker collaborating with you on a project refuses transparency and the sharing of important information to make you appear incompetent to your boss.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A spouse who withholds finances for basic needs.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A \u201cfriend\u201d who refuses to rejoice with you and celebrate with you over your success.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A partner who keeps their feelings from you.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">A partner who doesn\u2019t tell you what they do with their friends or where they go.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Does Any of This Sound Familiar?<\/h2>\n<p>If so, we know how deeply painful withholding feels, and we want to assure you that once you identify it is happening, you can deal with it properly.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Why Is Withholding Affection So Damaging?<\/h2>\n<p>Open communication and transparency between partners are building blocks for a healthy and thriving relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When a partner withholds in any capacity, it can make you feel ignored or isolated.<\/p>\n<p>It is incredibly painful because you cannot change the situation, and you can\u2019t force someone to change or stop this behavior; it\u2019s their choice to withhold. Your only real option for relief may be to leave.<\/p>\n<p>Each instance sends a harmful message to someone who feels stuck in a relationship where withholding is happening: \u201cYou don\u2019t deserve to be treated well.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But this is not true. You DO deserve to be treated well!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">You don\u2019t deserve to endure silence and coldness.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span style=\"\">You don\u2019t deserve to be punished for desiring or needing to connect.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>There is hope!<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">The Next Step for Survivors<\/h2>\n<p>Gaining clarity and the words to accurately define the emotional harm you are experiencing can empower you to take the steps needed for change.<\/p>\n<p>If any examples of withholding shared here are familiar, we encourage you to pause and consider removing yourself from the relationship or situation where withholding is present. If there is a risk of danger, please seek help from a local domestic violence agency or a highly skilled abuse and trauma therapist. Or, if you don\u2019t want to start there, tell a trusted friend or family member. They can help guide and support you on your path to self-restoration.<\/p>\n<p>If you disclose your experience of withholding from your partner with your family or friends, they may not understand what you\u2019ve been through unless they\u2019ve experienced it themselves. Keep that in mind; if anyone responds by causing you to question yourself or suggests you might be overreacting, hold it loosely. You are the best person to determine what is happening and what is the next best step for you to take.<\/p>\n<p>And, if leaving is that option, the abuser who is withholding may claim you can\u2019t leave or tell you that you don\u2019t deserve happiness\u2014you do deserve it, and you can have it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Keep pressing forward and seek healing!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\">Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n<p>If you\u2019re still unsure whether to stay or go, remember that sometimes, taking a pause to create distance can help you think clearly and gain clarity.<\/p>\n<p>And if you are reading this as a friend or trusted advisor of someone experiencing withholding, be careful and mindful in how you respond. Provide a safe space for them to share, and offer your supportive, non-judgmental presence.<\/p>\n<p>If you need help knowing what to say or do, we are here for you.<\/p>\n<p>We believe in you!<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is there someone in your life who refuses to communicate or listen? Or refuses to give you their love or affection? Or maybe they refuse to celebrate you or your good fortune?&nbsp; If you have ever experienced or felt these things in your relationship, you may have experienced withholding, which is an extremely damaging type [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":8210,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p>Is there someone in your life who refuses to communicate or listen? Or refuses to give you their love or affection? Or maybe they refuse to celebrate you or your good fortune?&nbsp;<\/p><p>If you have ever experienced or felt these things in your relationship, you may have experienced withholding, which is an extremely damaging <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/emotional-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">type of emotional abuse<\/a>.<\/p><p>Today, we are going to help you understand this tactic more deeply. You will learn:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ad8e1\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765d82ff\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ac055\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275d9991b\" style=\"\">How a partner who withholds is engaging in harmful behavior<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765d82ff\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ac055\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275d9991b\" style=\"\">What withholding can look like in a relationship<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765d82ff\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ac055\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275d9991b\" style=\"\">The hope available to those experiencing this kind of abuse<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06c0adb\">Withholding: What Is It?<\/h2><p>Withholding is when someone refuses to communicate, listen, or rejoice in one\u2019s good fortune as punishment. The abusive partner intentionally will not give what their partner wants or needs. It is one of the most toxic and damaging forms of emotional abuse.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Many think of withholding as refusing to give love and affection. While this is one example of how withholding is employed in a relationship, it is not the only.&nbsp;<\/p><p>A common form of withholding is when someone tries to control or dominate another person by refusing to communicate or listen.&nbsp;<\/p><p>The abuser who withholds does so as a means of using their affection, their attention, and their presence as a weapon against you. It is extremely damaging and destructive.<\/p><p>That said, I want to highlight a very important note: A spouse or partner who refuses to show affection without offering an explanation is certainly withholding an important and needed aspect of a healthy relationship, yet:&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><blockquote class=\"\">Refraining from affection because you do not feel comfortable or do not trust the other person is a healthy form of boundary-setting. This should not be confused with withholding, which is intentionally done to control or dominate.<\/blockquote><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>There are many more ways withholding can manifest.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06c1e20\">Examples of Withholding Include:<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765dc961\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ddf4f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A partner who withholds communication in an important conversation or an argument.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ddf53\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A partner who refuses to listen to you.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765ddf5f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save tcb-excluded-from-group-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a088cab9\" style=\"\">A partner who gives you the silent treatment as a form of punishment or refuses to spend time with you.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275df63d6\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save tcb-excluded-from-group-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a088f34a\" style=\"\">A co-worker collaborating with you on a project refuses transparency and the sharing of important information to make you appear incompetent to your boss.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275df668f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A spouse who withholds finances for basic needs.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275df68e3\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A \u201cfriend\u201d who refuses to rejoice with you and celebrate with you over your success.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e39582\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A partner who keeps their feelings from you.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e33ac9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275e398dd\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-hand-point-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M512 199.652c0 23.625-20.65 43.826-44.8 43.826h-99.851c16.34 17.048 18.346 49.766-6.299 70.944 14.288 22.829 2.147 53.017-16.45 62.315C353.574 425.878 322.654 448 272 448c-2.746 0-13.276-.203-16-.195-61.971.168-76.894-31.065-123.731-38.315C120.596 407.683 112 397.599 112 385.786V214.261l.002-.001c.011-18.366 10.607-35.889 28.464-43.845 28.886-12.994 95.413-49.038 107.534-77.323 7.797-18.194 21.384-29.084 40-29.092 34.222-.014 57.752 35.098 44.119 66.908-3.583 8.359-8.312 16.67-14.153 24.918H467.2c23.45 0 44.8 20.543 44.8 43.826zM96 200v192c0 13.255-10.745 24-24 24H24c-13.255 0-24-10.745-24-24V200c0-13.255 10.745-24 24-24h48c13.255 0 24 10.745 24 24zM68 368c0-11.046-8.954-20-20-20s-20 8.954-20 20 8.954 20 20 20 20-8.954 20-20z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19275ded48c\" style=\"\">A partner who doesn\u2019t tell you what they do with their friends or where they go.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06d25f3\">Does Any of This Sound Familiar?<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>If so, we know how deeply painful withholding feels, and we want to assure you that once you identify it is happening, you can deal with it properly.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06d1126\">Why Is Withholding Affection So Damaging?<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Open communication and transparency between partners are building blocks for a healthy and thriving relationship.&nbsp;<\/p><p>When a partner withholds in any capacity, it can make you feel ignored or isolated.<\/p><p>It is incredibly painful because you cannot change the situation, and you can\u2019t force someone to change or stop this behavior; it\u2019s their choice to withhold. Your only real option for relief may be to leave.<\/p><p>Each instance sends a harmful message to someone who feels stuck in a relationship where withholding is happening: \u201cYou don\u2019t deserve to be treated well.\u201d<\/p><p>But this is not true. You DO deserve to be treated well!<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-arrow-circle-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765e27e8\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765e82ff\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765e47d8\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm-28.9 143.6l75.5 72.4H120c-13.3 0-24 10.7-24 24v16c0 13.3 10.7 24 24 24h182.6l-75.5 72.4c-9.7 9.3-9.9 24.8-.4 34.3l11 10.9c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L404.3 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-33.9L271.6 106.3c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-11 10.9c-9.5 9.6-9.3 25.1.4 34.4z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1927649dd9b\" style=\"\">You don\u2019t deserve to endure silence and coldness.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765e82ff\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192765e47d8\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-arrow-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm-28.9 143.6l75.5 72.4H120c-13.3 0-24 10.7-24 24v16c0 13.3 10.7 24 24 24h182.6l-75.5 72.4c-9.7 9.3-9.9 24.8-.4 34.3l11 10.9c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L404.3 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-33.9L271.6 106.3c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-11 10.9c-9.5 9.6-9.3 25.1.4 34.4z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1927649dd9b\" style=\"\">You don\u2019t deserve to be punished for desiring or needing to connect.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>There is hope!<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06d451c\">The Next Step for Survivors<\/h2><p>Gaining clarity and the words to accurately define the emotional harm you are experiencing can empower you to take the steps needed for change.<br><br>If any examples of withholding shared here are familiar, we encourage you to pause and consider removing yourself from the relationship or situation where withholding is present. If there is a risk of danger, please seek help from a local domestic violence agency or a highly skilled abuse and trauma therapist. Or, if you don\u2019t want to start there, tell a trusted friend or family member. They can help guide and support you on your path to self-restoration.<br><br>If you disclose your experience of withholding from your partner with your family or friends, they may not understand what you\u2019ve been through unless they\u2019ve experienced it themselves. Keep that in mind; if anyone responds by causing you to question yourself or suggests you might be overreacting, hold it loosely. You are the best person to determine what is happening and what is the next best step for you to take.<br><br>And, if leaving is that option, the abuser who is withholding may claim you can\u2019t leave or tell you that you don\u2019t deserve happiness\u2014you do deserve it, and you can have it.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Keep pressing forward and seek healing!&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(155, 124, 59) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-192a06d6b9a\">Final Thoughts<\/h2><p>If you\u2019re still unsure whether to stay or go, remember that sometimes, taking a pause to create distance can help you think clearly and gain clarity.<br><br>And if you are reading this as a friend or trusted advisor of someone experiencing withholding, be careful and mindful in how you respond. 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