{"id":5877,"date":"2022-12-21T01:01:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-21T09:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=5877"},"modified":"2024-11-08T08:38:54","modified_gmt":"2024-11-08T16:38:54","slug":"leaving-a-covert-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/leaving-a-covert-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"The Story of Leaving a Covert Narcissist: By Michelle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In this brave <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/emotional-abuse-stories\/\" style=\"outline: none;\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Emotional Abuse Survivor Story<\/a> by Michelle (not her real name), she shares the details of her journey being married to a covert narcissist\u2014who is now her soon-to-be ex-husband.<\/p>\n<p>In this story, you\u2019ll learn:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>How no matter how hard she tried or what she did to try to support her partner, it was never enough<\/li>\n<li>How she was minimized, rejected, gaslit, lied-to, degraded, and attacked<\/li>\n<li>How she experienced withheld intimacy and personal connection<\/li>\n<li>How she finally drew boundaries and left her covert narcissistic husband so she could find hope and healing on the other side<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019s the story.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">It Began Online<\/h2>\n<p>I met my soon-to-be husband online.<\/p>\n<p>He seemed to be everything I had been searching for and more.<\/p>\n<p>I was the happiest I had been in my entire life.<\/p>\n<p>Here was someone who was supportive, funny, loving, and affectionate.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">The Wedding Plans and Early Hints<\/h2>\n<p>Fast forward to 3 and a half years later, and we were about to be married.<\/p>\n<p>He was not really interested in helping plan the wedding other than to allow his mom to take care of the catering and photography.<\/p>\n<p>On top of that, we had just bought our first home and were in the process of moving.<\/p>\n<p>We were both very stressed and I just chalked up his behavior to that.<\/p>\n<p>However, once we were married, it was like he completely changed into a different person.<\/p>\n<p>He had been married before, and had a child from that marriage. I thought I was prepared to be a stepmom and everything that came along with that.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">The Illusion Crumbles: The Struggles of Marriage<\/h2>\n<p>I could never do anything right in his eyes.<\/p>\n<p>That first year I came home with gifts from my family for Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n<p>He couldn\u2019t understand\u2014and had not gotten me anything as I \u201cwasn\u2019t a real mom.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Before we were married, we agreed we wanted children. But once we were married, he would not allow me to get pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>But I cared for my stepson who also had behavioral issues and was diagnosed with ADHD.<\/p>\n<p>I work in the mental health field and I told my husband that his son should be seen by a behavioral specialist instead of just taking the pediatrician\u2019s word for it, especially when he continued to have issues at school and ended up in trouble for hitting other kids.<\/p>\n<p>He vehemently denied my requests, saying that I didn\u2019t know what I was talking about since I worked with adults and not kids.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">Denial and Mental Health Concerns<\/h2>\n<p>I soon began to see that our relationship needed help, and we started therapy right before our first wedding anniversary.<\/p>\n<p>However, it was not a good fit. All she could really say was: \u201cHow does that make you feel?\u201d <\/p>\n<p>We also had our honeymoon coming up, as we got married at the height of COVID-19 and had to postpone it.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">A Glimmer of Hope: The Honeymoon<\/h2>\n<p>We did have a good time, and I thought that since we didn\u2019t have all the distractions back at home, that things were going better.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, he bought me a necklace and a pair of earrings, and he apologized for being an asshole for that last year. I thought things were finally going to change.<\/p>\n<p>Things did not change. They only got worse.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">The Breaking Point: A Cycle of Abuse<\/h2>\n<p>Suddenly, his moods were so bad that I dreaded going home after work or him coming home from work.<\/p>\n<p>I could not do anything right, no matter how hard I tried.<\/p>\n<p>I made dinner too early, I was too picky of an eater, all I did was go to the store, clean the house, read, and watch TV on my day off, I wasn\u2019t the size I was when we first met, I wasn\u2019t willing to do things in the bedroom he wanted, my family were \u201cparkers\u201d and did nothing, and my job did not pay me enough and wasn\u2019t my dream.<\/p>\n<p>He withheld affection from me, which was devastating as my love language was physical touch, which he knew as we read that book together before we were married.<\/p>\n<p>He would jokingly say \u201cIs your love tank full?\u201d when he knew clearly it was not.<\/p>\n<p>I was in constant fear of being criticized, belittled, and blamed.<\/p>\n<p>I had discovered marijuana in our garage about a year and a half into our marriage, and soon discovered he had been lying to me our entire relationship.<\/p>\n<p>It soon became a major issue, as I would not tolerate him doing drugs, especially in our home.<\/p>\n<p>I said I wasn\u2019t okay with it, and he said he would choose it over me.<\/p>\n<p>I soon discovered more lies\u2014like his pornography habit.<\/p>\n<p>One day, in a fit of rage, he broke my laptop when I was trying to complete some work because I told him I needed a few more minutes.<\/p>\n<p>He told me that wasn\u2019t good enough for him.<\/p>\n<p>I will never forget being so terrified in that moment.<\/p>\n<p>I thought, \u201cWhat am I doing with this person?\u201d <\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">Seeking Help: The Counseling Conundrum<\/h2>\n<p>I contacted the pastor who did our premarital counseling and married us.<\/p>\n<p>We met a few times. After that stopped, we started with another couples therapist.<\/p>\n<p>At first, I thought she was a good fit\u2014but suddenly, the sessions became so confusing and focused on how I was the problem.<\/p>\n<p>I often ended up in tears as I felt like I was being attacked.<\/p>\n<p>He would act like things were perfectly fine, and he would just put on this act.<\/p>\n<p>I even told her once that I thought he was acting, and he made a comment in the past that he was a great actor.<\/p>\n<p>She stated that she didn\u2019t think that was true. Yet, I knew he had been in therapy for years after his first divorce, and had learned exactly what to say.<\/p>\n<p>I decided that I was no longer going to do therapy, and he held that against me as well.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">The Final Straw: Saying Enough is Enough<\/h2>\n<p>I lived in a fog of constant fear and confusion for almost 2 years before I decided enough was enough.<\/p>\n<p>When I finally said I couldn\u2019t do this anymore, he spouted off terrible things like I would never have to see him or his stepson ever again, which I never really connected with anyways.<\/p>\n<p>He told me that I could start a family with someone else and move north closer to my family.<\/p>\n<p>He told me that I had to leave as this was his dependent\u2019s school address (his son went to school in a different county) and that he was taking our dog.<\/p>\n<p>I said that this was not fair, but he would not bend.<\/p>\n<p>He said that I could come back anytime to get my stuff, and that the house was half mine.<\/p>\n<p>So I left with a small bag of my items and moved back in with my parents 45 minutes away.<\/p>\n<p>He attempted to call me 5 days later and once sent a text saying he hoped I was okay and that he missed me.<\/p>\n<p>I moved all of my things out while he was at work almost a week later.<\/p>\n<p>The whole time, I was terrified that he would be there or that all of my stuff would be out on the lawn, ruined as it had been raining.<\/p>\n<p>He angrily texted me when he got home that I should have let him know that I was coming to get my stuff, and that there was no chance of reconciliation then.<\/p>\n<p>I filed for divorce 2 weeks later, thinking the hardest part was over.<\/p>\n<p>I was so very wrong.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">The Complex Aftermath: Navigating Divorce<\/h2>\n<p>The divorce process has been extremely difficult and expensive.<\/p>\n<p>He filed a temporary restraining order on our assets, which means our house cannot be sold until we sign a settlement agreement.<\/p>\n<p>I have signed 2 different versions of this, and his lawyer keeps changing things.<\/p>\n<p>It has been the longest 2 months of my life. It should be over soon, I hope.<\/p>\n<p>It all doesn\u2019t even feel real anymore.<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\">A Ray of Light: The Road to Recovery<\/h2>\n<p>I am much happier now that I have left\u2014and often wonder why I didn\u2019t leave sooner.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m terrified, but also excited for the future.<\/p>\n<p>My family has been very supportive and, without them, I don\u2019t know where I would be.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In this brave Emotional Abuse Survivor Story by Michelle (not her real name), she shares the details of her journey being married to a covert narcissist\u2014who is now her soon-to-be ex-husband. In this story, you\u2019ll learn: How no matter how hard she tried or what she did to try to support her partner, it was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":9939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p>In this brave <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/emotional-abuse-stories\/\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\" target=\"_blank\">Emotional Abuse Survivor Story<\/a> by Michelle (not her real name), she shares the details of her journey being married to a covert narcissist\u2014who is now her soon-to-be ex-husband.<\/p><p>In this story, you\u2019ll learn:<\/p><ul class=\"\"><li>How no matter how hard she tried or what she did to try to support her partner, it was never enough<\/li><li>How she was minimized, rejected, gaslit, lied-to, degraded, and attacked<\/li><li>How she experienced withheld intimacy and personal connection<\/li><li>How she finally drew boundaries and left her covert narcissistic husband so she could find hope and healing on the other side<\/li><\/ul><p>Here\u2019s the story.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">It Began Online<\/h2><p>I met my soon-to-be husband online.<\/p><p>He seemed to be everything I had been searching for and more.<\/p><p>I was the happiest I had been in my entire life.<\/p><p>Here was someone who was supportive, funny, loving, and affectionate.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91adf5f\">The Wedding Plans and Early Hints<\/h2><p>Fast forward to 3 and a half years later, and we were about to be married.<\/p><p>He was not really interested in helping plan the wedding other than to allow his mom to take care of the catering and photography.<\/p><p>On top of that, we had just bought our first home and were in the process of moving.<\/p><p>We were both very stressed and I just chalked up his behavior to that.<\/p><p>However, once we were married, it was like he completely changed into a different person.<\/p><p>He had been married before, and had a child from that marriage. I thought I was prepared to be a stepmom and everything that came along with that.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91b42b3\">The Illusion Crumbles: The Struggles of Marriage<\/h2><p>I could never do anything right in his eyes.<\/p><p>That first year I came home with gifts from my family for Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p><p>He couldn\u2019t understand\u2014and had not gotten me anything as I \u201cwasn\u2019t a real mom.\u201d<\/p><p>Before we were married, we agreed we wanted children. But once we were married, he would not allow me to get pregnant.<\/p><p>But I cared for my stepson who also had behavioral issues and was diagnosed with ADHD.<\/p><p>I work in the mental health field and I told my husband that his son should be seen by a behavioral specialist instead of just taking the pediatrician\u2019s word for it, especially when he continued to have issues at school and ended up in trouble for hitting other kids.<\/p><p>He vehemently denied my requests, saying that I didn\u2019t know what I was talking about since I worked with adults and not kids.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91bdc10\">Denial and Mental Health Concerns<\/h2><p>I soon began to see that our relationship needed help, and we started therapy right before our first wedding anniversary.<\/p><p>However, it was not a good fit. All she could really say was: <i>\u201cHow does that make you feel?\u201d <\/i><\/p><p>We also had our honeymoon coming up, as we got married at the height of COVID-19 and had to postpone it.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91c2777\">A Glimmer of Hope: The Honeymoon<\/h2><p>We <i>did<\/i> have a good time, and I thought that since we didn\u2019t have all the distractions back at home, that things were going better.<\/p><p>In fact, he bought me a necklace and a pair of earrings, and he apologized for being an asshole for that last year. I thought things were finally going to change.<\/p><p>Things did not change. They only got worse.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91c5b5c\">The Breaking Point: A Cycle of Abuse<\/h2><p>Suddenly, his moods were so bad that I dreaded going home after work or him coming home from work.<\/p><p>I could not do anything right, no matter how hard I tried.<\/p><p>I made dinner too early, I was too picky of an eater, all I did was go to the store, clean the house, read, and watch TV on my day off, I wasn\u2019t the size I was when we first met, I wasn\u2019t willing to do things in the bedroom he wanted, my family were \u201cparkers\u201d and did nothing, and my job did not pay me enough and wasn\u2019t my dream.<\/p><p>He withheld affection from me, which was devastating as my love language was physical touch, which he knew as we read that book together before we were married.<\/p><p>He would jokingly say <i>\u201cIs your love tank full?\u201d<\/i> when he knew clearly it was not.<\/p><p>I was in constant fear of being criticized, belittled, and blamed.<\/p><p>I had discovered marijuana in our garage about a year and a half into our marriage, and soon discovered he had been lying to me our entire relationship.<\/p><p>It soon became a major issue, as I would not tolerate him doing drugs, especially in our home.<\/p><p>I said I wasn\u2019t okay with it, and he said he would choose it over me.<\/p><p>I soon discovered more lies\u2014like his pornography habit.<\/p><p>One day, in a fit of rage, he broke my laptop when I was trying to complete some work because I told him I needed a few more minutes.<\/p><p>He told me that wasn\u2019t good enough for him.<\/p><p>I will never forget being so terrified in that moment.<\/p><p>I thought,<i> \u201cWhat am I doing with this person?\u201d <\/i><\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">Seeking Help: The Counseling Conundrum<\/h2><p>I contacted the pastor who did our premarital counseling and married us.<\/p><p>We met a few times. After that stopped, we started with another couples therapist.<\/p><p>At first, I thought she was a good fit\u2014but suddenly, the sessions became so confusing and focused on how <i>I<\/i> was the problem.<\/p><p>I often ended up in tears as I felt like I was being attacked.<\/p><p>He would act like things were perfectly fine, and he would just put on this act.<\/p><p>I even told her once that I thought he was acting, and he made a comment in the past that he was a great actor.<\/p><p>She stated that she didn\u2019t think that was true. Yet, I knew he had been in therapy for years after his first divorce, and had learned <i>exactly<\/i> what to say.<\/p><p>I decided that I was no longer going to do therapy, and he held that against me as well.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91d982f\">The Final Straw: Saying Enough is Enough<\/h2><p>I lived in a fog of constant fear and confusion for almost 2 years before I decided enough was enough.<\/p><p>When I finally said I couldn\u2019t do this anymore, he spouted off terrible things like I would never have to see him or his stepson ever again, which I never really connected with anyways.<\/p><p>He told me that I could start a family with someone else and move north closer to my family.<\/p><p>He told me that I had to leave as this was his dependent\u2019s school address (his son went to school in a different county) and that he was taking our dog.<\/p><p>I said that this was not fair, but he would not bend.<\/p><p>He said that I could come back anytime to get my stuff, and that the house was half mine.<\/p><p>So I left with a small bag of my items and moved back in with my parents 45 minutes away.<\/p><p>He attempted to call me 5 days later and once sent a text saying he hoped I was okay and that he missed me.<\/p><p>I moved all of my things out while he was at work almost a week later.<\/p><p>The whole time, I was terrified that he would be there or that all of my stuff would be out on the lawn, ruined as it had been raining.<\/p><p>He angrily texted me when he got home that I should have let him know that I was coming to get my stuff, and that there was no chance of reconciliation then.<\/p><p>I filed for divorce 2 weeks later, thinking the hardest part was over.<\/p><p>I was so very wrong.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39)  !important;\">The Complex Aftermath: Navigating Divorce<\/h2><p>The divorce process has been extremely difficult and expensive.<\/p><p>He filed a temporary restraining order on our assets, which means our house cannot be sold until we sign a settlement agreement.<\/p><p>I have signed 2 different versions of this, and his lawyer keeps changing things.<\/p><p>It has been the longest 2 months of my life. It should be over soon, I hope.<\/p><p>It all doesn\u2019t even feel real anymore.<\/p><h2 class=\"\" style=\"color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(116, 93, 39) !important;\" data-css=\"tve-u-190c91ec58e\">A Ray of Light: The Road to Recovery<\/h2><p>I am much happier now that I have left\u2014and often wonder why I didn\u2019t leave sooner.<\/p><p>I\u2019m terrified, but also excited for the future.<\/p><p>My family has been very supportive and, without them, I don\u2019t know where I would be.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] 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