{"id":3081,"date":"2020-05-22T18:26:49","date_gmt":"2020-05-23T01:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themendproject.com\/?p=3081"},"modified":"2024-11-13T11:18:14","modified_gmt":"2024-11-13T19:18:14","slug":"the-not-so-innocent-covert-emotional-abuse-tactic-sanitization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/the-not-so-innocent-covert-emotional-abuse-tactic-sanitization\/","title":{"rendered":"Sanitization: How Abusers Conceal Their Toxic Behavior"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner, only to emerge feeling bewildered as they deftly justify their actions, leaving you questioning your own perceptions?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This blog post explores a covert emotional abuse tactic known as sanitization, where abusers attempt to make their toxic behavior appear harmless or even virtuous, leaving victims ensnared in a web of confusion and self-doubt.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s what you\u2019ll learn:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span>What sanitization is and what it looks like in relationships<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>The impact of sanitization on a victim\u2019s mental and emotional well-being<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Strategies for confronting and responding to sanitization tactics<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Let\u2019s begin.<\/p>\n<h2>What is Sanitization?<\/h2>\n<p>The word \u201csanitize\u201d means to \u201cmake clean and hygienic; disinfect,\u201d or to \u201calter (something regarded as less acceptable) so as to make it more palatable.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When an abuser tries to sanitize their behavior, <strong>they are trying to convince themselves and others that their behavior is harmless<\/strong> or even good when what really needs to happen is for the abusive behavior to stop entirely.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Instead, the abuser is more focused on image management, self-protection, and even assuaging their own internal feelings of shame than on stopping the destructive behavior.<\/p>\n<p>But what does that look like, you may be wondering.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s dig a little deeper.<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"\">An Example of Sanitizing Behavior<\/h3>\n<p>Let\u2019s say, for instance, that you and your partner get into an argument over finances. Pay attention to the abuser\u2019s behavior and responses:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">At the height of the debate, your partner changes their story by telling you they never received the federal tax refund you claim they should have deposited into the \u2018joint\u2019 account.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"\">You know you saw the refund check and can\u2019t understand why your partner is trying to make you believe it never happened.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">You confront them and a heated argument ensues. After a while, they admit they cashed the check to pay off their credit card.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">They say, \u201cI didn\u2019t want to have debt in our relationship. You mean more to me than anything and I want to do this well. I don\u2019t understand why you would make an issue out of this. You know I love you.\u201d<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In this scenario, <strong>the abuser washes their hands clean of the wrongdoing they\u2019ve done<\/strong> by lying to their partner, and by cashing and using the return for personal use without having a conversation first.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Rather than owning and taking responsibility for bad behavior, the tactic of sanitization was used to make it seem like there was good intent for the choice that was made.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>This kind of manipulation can be deeply distressing for the victim. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>They know in their gut when abuse is underlying, but when they are in close relationship with the individual abusing them, it is much more challenging to distinguish unhealthy behavior from healthy behavior.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The result?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Take a look:<\/p>\n<h2>The Effects of Sanitization on Victims<\/h2>\n<p>When an abuser sanitizes situations and tries to make their harmful actions seem justified, <strong>they create more layers of confusion<\/strong> and cause the victim to doubt the truth, which is the abusive person\u2019s goal.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>After many instances of this occurring, the victim may begin to <strong>blame<\/strong> or <strong>doubt themselves<\/strong> for having qualms in the first place.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Given enough time and repetition, the victim is likely to become convinced that the emotional or physical abuse is an act of love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>They may stop speaking up altogether when it happens rather than risk feeling wrong or foolish for thinking that something is amiss about their relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>While this is a devastating position to be in, we want to assure you there is hope.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Here is what you can do the next time you feel your partner is using sanitization to cover up their wrongdoing:<\/p>\n<h2>How to Respond When You Notice Sanitization Tactics<\/h2>\n<p>If you recognize that sanitization is being used against you in your relationship, it is important to confront the behavior both by <strong>naming it and identifying what is wrong with it. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>For example, after your partner sanitizes their abusive behavior, you could say to them:&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span>Your words are not lining up with your actions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>You are telling me you love me to sanitize the fact that you lied to me.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Your love for me cannot sanitize your decision to lie and take our money to pay your personal debt, which is wrong.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>It is not OK for you to do this.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>Stay rooted in what your gut is telling you. <\/em><\/p>\n<p>You have good instincts and you can trust yourself. <strong>It\u2019s okay to disagree and discern that you are being mistreated<\/strong>. And you can stand firm in what you need and still keep a connection.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A healthy relationship will stay intact and get stronger with interactions that require integrity and responsibility.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2>Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n<p>We hope this blog has helped you to understand the abusive behavior of sanitization.<\/p>\n<p>It is so important to give behaviors a name and define them because doing so helps us to recognize them more quickly and set a boundary when they are used against you.<\/p>\n<p>For a full list of covert behaviors we have named or defined, click <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/you-are-not-crazy\/#definitions\" style=\"outline: none;\">HERE<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner, only to emerge feeling bewildered as they deftly justify their actions, leaving you questioning your own perceptions?&nbsp; This blog post explores a covert emotional abuse tactic known as sanitization, where abusers attempt to make their toxic behavior appear harmless or even virtuous, leaving [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":8367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Have you ever found yourself in a heated argument with your partner, only to emerge feeling bewildered as they deftly justify their actions, leaving you questioning your own perceptions?&nbsp;<\/p><p>This blog post explores a covert emotional abuse tactic known as sanitization, where abusers attempt to make their toxic behavior appear harmless or even virtuous, leaving victims ensnared in a web of confusion and self-doubt.<\/p><p>Here\u2019s what you\u2019ll learn:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-check\" data-css=\"tve-u-192999511ea\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a145cd\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a0b58f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929993a142\">What sanitization is and what it looks like in relationships<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a145d2\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a0b58f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929993a142\">The impact of sanitization on a victim\u2019s mental and emotional well-being<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a0b1bd\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a0b58f\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929993a142\">Strategies for confronting and responding to sanitization tactics<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Let\u2019s begin.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\">What is Sanitization?<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>The word \u201csanitize\u201d means to \u201cmake clean and hygienic; disinfect,\u201d or to \u201calter (something regarded as less acceptable) so as to make it more palatable.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p><p>When an abuser tries to sanitize their behavior, <strong>they are trying to convince themselves and others that their behavior is harmless<\/strong> or even good when what really needs to happen is for the abusive behavior to stop entirely.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Instead, the abuser is more focused on image management, self-protection, and even assuaging their own internal feelings of shame than on stopping the destructive behavior.<\/p><p>But what does that look like, you may be wondering.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Let\u2019s dig a little deeper.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299973730\">An Example of Sanitizing Behavior<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>Let\u2019s say, for instance, that you and your partner get into an argument over finances. Pay attention to the abuser\u2019s behavior and responses:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a18273\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299983219\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a1cf0d\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929997b5e0\" style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">At the height of the debate, your partner changes their story by telling you they never received the federal tax refund you claim they should have deposited into the \u2018joint\u2019 account.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299983219\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a1cf12\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a7c5f7\" style=\"\">You know you saw the refund check and can\u2019t understand why your partner is trying to make you believe it never happened.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299983219\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299a1cf21\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929997b5e0\" style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">You confront them and a heated argument ensues. After a while, they admit they cashed the check to pay off their credit card.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299983219\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-19299983a17\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929997b5e0\" style=\"line-height: 1.8em !important;\">They say, \u201cI didn\u2019t want to have debt in our relationship. You mean more to me than anything and I want to do this well. I don\u2019t understand why you would make an issue out of this. You know I love you.\u201d<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>In this scenario, <strong>the abuser washes their hands clean of the wrongdoing they\u2019ve done<\/strong> by lying to their partner, and by cashing and using the return for personal use without having a conversation first.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Rather than owning and taking responsibility for bad behavior, the tactic of sanitization was used to make it seem like there was good intent for the choice that was made.&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p><strong>This kind of manipulation can be deeply distressing for the victim. <\/strong><\/p><p>They know in their gut when abuse is underlying, but when they are in close relationship with the individual abusing them, it is much more challenging to distinguish unhealthy behavior from healthy behavior.&nbsp;<\/p><p>The result?&nbsp;<\/p><p>Take a look:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\">The Effects of Sanitization on Victims<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>When an abuser sanitizes situations and tries to make their harmful actions seem justified, <strong>they create more layers of confusion<\/strong> and cause the victim to doubt the truth, which is the abusive person\u2019s goal.&nbsp;<\/p><p>After many instances of this occurring, the victim may begin to <strong>blame<\/strong> or <strong>doubt themselves<\/strong> for having qualms in the first place.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Given enough time and repetition, the victim is likely to become convinced that the emotional or physical abuse is an act of love.&nbsp;<\/p><p>They may stop speaking up altogether when it happens rather than risk feeling wrong or foolish for thinking that something is amiss about their relationship.&nbsp;<\/p><p>While this is a devastating position to be in, we want to assure you there is hope.&nbsp;<\/p><p>Here is what you can do the next time you feel your partner is using sanitization to cover up their wrongdoing:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\">How to Respond When You Notice Sanitization Tactics<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>If you recognize that sanitization is being used against you in your relationship, it is important to confront the behavior both by <strong>naming it and identifying what is wrong with it. <\/strong><\/p><p>For example, after your partner sanitizes their abusive behavior, you could say to them:&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad952f3\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95314\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad961e1\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95318\">Your words are not lining up with your actions.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95315\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad961e5\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95319\">You are telling me you love me to sanitize the fact that you lied to me.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95316\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad961f5\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad9531a\">Your love for me cannot sanitize your decision to lie and take our money to pay your personal debt, which is wrong.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad95317\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-icon-display tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192999dc4c5\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 512 512\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-circle-right-solid\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M256 8c137 0 248 111 248 248S393 504 256 504 8 393 8 256 119 8 256 8zm113.9 231L234.4 103.5c-9.4-9.4-24.6-9.4-33.9 0l-17 17c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9L285.1 256 183.5 357.6c-9.4 9.4-9.4 24.6 0 33.9l17 17c9.4 9.4 24.6 9.4 33.9 0L369.9 273c9.4-9.4 9.4-24.6 0-34z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-1929ad9531b\">It is not OK for you to do this.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p><em>Stay rooted in what your gut is telling you. <\/em><\/p><p>You have good instincts and you can trust yourself. <strong>It\u2019s okay to disagree and discern that you are being mistreated<\/strong>. And you can stand firm in what you need and still keep a connection.&nbsp;<\/p><p>A healthy relationship will stay intact and get stronger with interactions that require integrity and responsibility.&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h2 class=\"\">Final Thoughts<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p>We hope this blog has helped you to understand the abusive behavior of sanitization.<\/p><p>It is so important to give behaviors a name and define them because doing so helps us to recognize them more quickly and set a boundary when they are used against you.<\/p><p>For a full list of covert behaviors we have named or defined, click <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/you-are-not-crazy\/#definitions\" class=\"\" style=\"outline: none;\">HERE<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrive_leads_shortcode\"><div class=\"thrive-shortcode-config\" style=\"display: none 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