In this story, you\u2019ll learn about how Melanie\u2019s relationship and marriage became a nightmare of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and gaslighting.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll also learn:<\/p>\n
I met my husband at the restaurant I used to work at. <\/p>\n
He was a customer who came in frequently, but I didn\u2019t know him until a friend of mine introduced us. <\/p>\n
He was super charming and very assertive, asking me for my phone number right up front.<\/p>\n
After putting him off because I wasn\u2019t feeling it, I eventually agreed to dinner. <\/p>\n
It turned out we grew up in the same town, 5 minutes away from each other, and we knew the same people. <\/p>\n
We really connected and had many similarities.<\/p>\n
We started hanging out more, and everything seemed to be going smoothly\u2014until one day I was at his house and I went to go run an errand and left my computer screen open with Facebook. <\/p>\n
When I came back he glared at me and asked me why was I talking to guys on FB. <\/p>\n
These \u201cguys\u201d were family and friends. <\/p>\n
He asked me to leave his house and told me he was done with me. <\/p>\n
I was really sad and hurt, and I questioned myself. <\/p>\n
A couple of days later he texted me an apology for being too hard on me, saying he had a rough day and that it triggered him.<\/p>\n
I gave him another chance. Time went on.<\/p>\n
Then, one evening we were out with friends and when he returned from using the restroom\/bathroom, a couple of guys were talking with my group of girlfriends. <\/p>\n
He didn\u2019t say a word to me, he got in his car and took off. <\/p>\n
I knew it was ridiculous. I was done.<\/p>\n
Sadly, I got back together with him. <\/p>\n
It was a back-and-forth relationship. <\/p>\n
It was always a control thing or jealousy with him. <\/p>\n
We dated for 3 years and through the back-and-forth, I still married him. <\/p>\n
I figured things were good for the most part. <\/p>\n
We worked through a lot with premarital counseling, he admitted his faults, he was sorry and said he was going to work on it with his therapist. <\/p>\n
He was taking all the right actions.<\/p>\n
On our honeymoon, I didn\u2019t know what I had gotten myself into. <\/p>\n
I stepped out of our room to go to the concierge\u2014and when I came back to the room he was watching pornography. <\/p>\n
This was the first time I learned he had a porn addiction. <\/p>\n
It ruined our honeymoon. <\/p>\n
I told him he needed to sleep on the couch. <\/p>\n
He refused and told me to sleep on the couch, so I did. <\/p>\n
I slept on the couch on our honeymoon.<\/p>\n
The first year of marriage was awful. <\/p>\n
His dad moved into our home with us as he was dying of cancer. <\/p>\n
My husband was gone in his own little world while I helped take care of his dad. <\/p>\n
When he did engage, he would go off on me about things that didn\u2019t matter, like a paper out of place.<\/p>\n
Before his dad passed away, I became pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy. <\/p>\n
I had to be admitted to the hospital as I was very sick. <\/p>\n
My husband came to the hospital for an hour and acted like I was an inconvenience. <\/p>\n
He went home because he felt like he hadn\u2019t slept. <\/p>\n
Well, when we got our TV bill, it was astronomically high. <\/p>\n
I learned, that night while I was in the hospital, he went home and watched porn the entire night. <\/p>\n
In therapy, he denied it so I brought in the cable bill for proof. To which he then said that I wasn\u2019t giving him enough sex. <\/p>\n
I believed it. I believed it was all my fault.<\/p>\n
A few months later I got pregnant with my oldest child. <\/p>\n
I was very sick during my pregnancy. <\/p>\n
He and his mom, who was a nurse, were awful toward me. <\/p>\n
They would tell me to deal with it, or comment on what I was eating, even saying I was lazy and crazy. <\/p>\n
I learned I had a rare condition called vasa-previa. <\/p>\n
My husband and his mom would tell me I didn\u2019t have that, and it wasn\u2019t serious. <\/p>\n
At 34 weeks I was admitted to the hospital on bed rest, connected to a machine, where they barely let me go to the bathroom and take a shower. <\/p>\n
It was a sad and lonely time for me. <\/p>\n
He barely came to the hospital to be with me. <\/p>\n
Once I had the baby, after my c-section, he was awful to me. <\/p>\n
The nurses even asked me if he was always like this. <\/p>\n
They felt how stressful he was making everything.<\/p>\n
There are so many stories, too many.<\/p>\n
I learned through Google searches what was happening while trying to figure this out. <\/p>\n
I brought it to my therapist and firmly asked her: “Why didn\u2019t you tell me about this? This is exactly what this man has been doing to me my entire marriage.”<\/em><\/p>\n Through the process of realizing what was going on in our marriage, basically after 6 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I learned I had been gaslighted by him my whole marriage.<\/p>\n I learned he had lied to me many times. <\/p>\n My gut told me he was unfaithful to me, and he was. <\/p>\n While I was taking care of my 2 babies, he was making comments to me about cheating. <\/p>\n I began to feel he was guilty of something.<\/p>\n There were times he was physical with me, pinning me up against the wall for what felt like no reason. <\/p>\n He got mad at me for saving Nordstrom boxes and threw me against the wall when I was 8 months pregnant. <\/p>\n He often threw things at me. <\/p>\n In my mind, I thought abuse was punching me or smacking me. <\/p>\n I didn\u2019t think pinning my arm behind my back, pushing me, or restraining me was abuse. <\/p>\n And, honestly, I didn\u2019t want to be that person who was \u201csensitive\u201d.<\/p>\n One final day, I became very sick with asthma. <\/p>\n My husband was drinking with my friend\u2019s husband. <\/p>\n I was trying to figure out my inhaler and asked him to change the baby\u2019s diaper. <\/p>\n He refused. <\/p>\n He said, \u201cAre you f-ing stupid?! I thought you knew how to use an inhaler.\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n I threw the inhaler and he picked it up and threw it at my head. <\/p>\n That\u2019s when I decided I was done.<\/p>\n I got an attorney that next week and filed for divorce.<\/p>\n After I filed, he did crazy things. <\/p>\n I once woke up in the middle of the night with him over me and his cell phone flashlight in my face. <\/p>\n Another time, he locked himself in his room where he had all his guns and told me I better watch my back. <\/p>\n I went to the police station to tell them and they said unless he has done something to you we can\u2019t do anything to help you. <\/p>\n That\u2019s when I called my attorney and got an emergency restraining order. <\/p>\n He left that day and never was allowed back in the house.<\/p>\n Since that day I have had so much clarity. <\/p>\n But, the start of my healing journey was met with challenges.<\/p>\n After I filed for divorce and got the restraining order, he went to the church I had been going to for 5 years and begged the pastor to help him save his marriage. <\/p>\n The pastor gave really poor advice. <\/p>\n Up front, he told me I needed to drop the restraining order on my husband, claiming he is the financial provider and this isn\u2019t good for his financial future. <\/p>\n He said my husband wasn\u2019t physical with me and told me God could do anything with my marriage and they were there to support us. <\/p>\n I felt very pressured by the pastor to take the restraining order off, so I listened to the pastor. <\/p>\n I removed it. <\/p>\n Looking back I really wish I didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n I got an e-mail where the church was saying I have anger issues and my husband was doing a good job and the pastor was proud of him.<\/p>\n They said they needed to support him and wanted him to stay in good company with men at the church. <\/p>\n They were praying my anger would calm down.<\/p>\n No pastor asked how they could help me and what they could do for me and my children. <\/p>\n What made me even angrier is they knew my husband paid every month and they didn\u2019t want to lose that, and they saw him serving.<\/p>\n I was in utter shock. <\/p>\n How could they do this to me? <\/p>\n Here I was, the widower of abuse my entire marriage.<\/p>\n See, my ex is a narcissist. <\/p>\n He was one way at church and another way with me. <\/p>\n He was doing all the right things. I looked like the crazy one because I was angry. <\/p>\n Of course, I was. <\/p>\n When I told them I was leaving their church, there was nothing, just that they were going to keep working with my husband and they hoped I would stay connected with somebody. <\/p>\n I left that church and never looked back. <\/p>\n They never reached out to me. <\/p>\n I forgave them. But, they do not understand abuse. <\/p>\n They did not take it seriously. <\/p>\n Not even with a restraining order, which is really difficult to obtain. <\/p>\n Sadly, I know multiple women at this same church who have left because they had the same experience.<\/p>\n Since this all happened, I found a new church home. <\/p>\n And, with the incredible support from my friends and community, I am well into my healing journey.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My husband’s jealousy and porn addiction quickly spiraled out of control, but when I turned to counselors and church for help, I was met with derision.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":5710,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":" In this story, you\u2019ll learn about how Melanie\u2019s relationship and marriage became a nightmare of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and gaslighting.<\/p> You\u2019ll also learn:<\/p> I met my husband at the restaurant I used to work at. <\/p> He was a customer who came in frequently, but I didn\u2019t know him until a friend of mine introduced us. <\/p> He was super charming and very assertive, asking me for my phone number right up front.<\/p> After putting him off because I wasn\u2019t feeling it, I eventually agreed to dinner. <\/p> It turned out we grew up in the same town, 5 minutes away from each other, and we knew the same people. <\/p> We really connected and had many similarities.<\/p><\/div> We started hanging out more, and everything seemed to be going smoothly\u2014until one day I was at his house and I went to go run an errand and left my computer screen open with Facebook. <\/p> When I came back he glared at me and asked me why was I talking to guys on FB. <\/p> These \u201cguys\u201d were family and friends. <\/p> He asked me to leave his house and told me he was done with me. <\/p> I was really sad and hurt, and I questioned myself. <\/p> A couple of days later he texted me an apology for being too hard on me, saying he had a rough day and that it triggered him.<\/p> I gave him another chance. Time went on.<\/p><\/div> Then, one evening we were out with friends and when he returned from using the restroom\/bathroom, a couple of guys were talking with my group of girlfriends. <\/p> He didn\u2019t say a word to me, he got in his car and took off. <\/p> I knew it was ridiculous. I was done.<\/p> Sadly, I got back together with him. <\/p> It was a back-and-forth relationship. <\/p> It was always a control thing or jealousy with him. <\/p> We dated for 3 years and through the back-and-forth, I still married him. <\/p> I figured things were good for the most part. <\/p> We worked through a lot with premarital counseling, he admitted his faults, he was sorry and said he was going to work on it with his therapist. <\/p> He was taking all the right actions.<\/p><\/div> On our honeymoon, I didn\u2019t know what I had gotten myself into. <\/p> I stepped out of our room to go to the concierge\u2014and when I came back to the room he was watching pornography. <\/p> This was the first time I learned he had a porn addiction. <\/p> It ruined our honeymoon. <\/p> I told him he needed to sleep on the couch. <\/p> He refused and told me to sleep on the couch, so I did. <\/p> I slept on the couch on our honeymoon.<\/p><\/div> The first year of marriage was awful. <\/p> His dad moved into our home with us as he was dying of cancer. <\/p> My husband was gone in his own little world while I helped take care of his dad. <\/p> When he did engage, he would go off on me about things that didn\u2019t matter, like a paper out of place.<\/p> Before his dad passed away, I became pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy. <\/p> I had to be admitted to the hospital as I was very sick. <\/p> My husband came to the hospital for an hour and acted like I was an inconvenience. <\/p> He went home because he felt like he hadn\u2019t slept. <\/p> Well, when we got our TV bill, it was astronomically high. <\/p> I learned, that night while I was in the hospital, he went home and watched porn the entire night. <\/p> In therapy, he denied it so I brought in the cable bill for proof. To which he then said that I wasn\u2019t giving him enough sex. <\/p> I believed it. I believed it was all my fault.<\/p><\/div> A few months later I got pregnant with my oldest child. <\/p> I was very sick during my pregnancy. <\/p> He and his mom, who was a nurse, were awful toward me. <\/p> They would tell me to deal with it, or comment on what I was eating, even saying I was lazy and crazy. <\/p> I learned I had a rare condition called vasa-previa. <\/p> My husband and his mom would tell me I didn\u2019t have that, and it wasn\u2019t serious. <\/p> At 34 weeks I was admitted to the hospital on bed rest, connected to a machine, where they barely let me go to the bathroom and take a shower. <\/p> It was a sad and lonely time for me. <\/p> He barely came to the hospital to be with me. <\/p> Once I had the baby, after my c-section, he was awful to me. <\/p> The nurses even asked me if he was always like this. <\/p> They felt how stressful he was making everything.<\/p> There are so many stories, too many.<\/p><\/div> I learned through Google searches what was happening while trying to figure this out. <\/p> I brought it to my therapist and firmly asked her: \"Why didn\u2019t you tell me about this? This is exactly what this man has been doing to me my entire marriage.\"<\/em><\/p> Through the process of realizing what was going on in our marriage, basically after 6 years of marriage and 2 kids later, I learned I had been gaslighted by him my whole marriage.<\/p> I learned he had lied to me many times. <\/p> My gut told me he was unfaithful to me, and he was. <\/p> While I was taking care of my 2 babies, he was making comments to me about cheating. <\/p> I began to feel he was guilty of something.<\/p><\/div> There were times he was physical with me, pinning me up against the wall for what felt like no reason. <\/p> He got mad at me for saving Nordstrom boxes and threw me against the wall when I was 8 months pregnant. <\/p> He often threw things at me. <\/p> In my mind, I thought abuse was punching me or smacking me. <\/p> I didn\u2019t think pinning my arm behind my back, pushing me, or restraining me was abuse. <\/p> And, honestly, I didn\u2019t want to be that person who was \u201csensitive\u201d.<\/p> One final day, I became very sick with asthma. <\/p> My husband was drinking with my friend\u2019s husband. <\/p> I was trying to figure out my inhaler and asked him to change the baby\u2019s diaper. <\/p> He refused. <\/p> He said, \u201cAre you f-ing stupid?! I thought you knew how to use an inhaler.\u201d<\/em> <\/p> I threw the inhaler and he picked it up and threw it at my head. <\/p> That\u2019s when I decided I was done.<\/p><\/div> I got an attorney that next week and filed for divorce.<\/p> After I filed, he did crazy things. <\/p> I once woke up in the middle of the night with him over me and his cell phone flashlight in my face. <\/p> Another time, he locked himself in his room where he had all his guns and told me I better watch my back. <\/p> I went to the police station to tell them and they said unless he has done something to you we can\u2019t do anything to help you. <\/p> That\u2019s when I called my attorney and got an emergency restraining order. <\/p> He left that day and never was allowed back in the house.<\/p><\/div> Since that day I have had so much clarity. <\/p> But, the start of my healing journey was met with challenges.<\/p> After I filed for divorce and got the restraining order, he went to the church I had been going to for 5 years and begged the pastor to help him save his marriage. <\/p> The pastor gave really poor advice. <\/p> Up front, he told me I needed to drop the restraining order on my husband, claiming he is the financial provider and this isn\u2019t good for his financial future. <\/p> He said my husband wasn\u2019t physical with me and told me God could do anything with my marriage and they were there to support us. <\/p> I felt very pressured by the pastor to take the restraining order off, so I listened to the pastor. <\/p> I removed it. <\/p> Looking back I really wish I didn\u2019t.<\/p><\/div> I got an e-mail where the church was saying I have anger issues and my husband was doing a good job and the pastor was proud of him.<\/p> They said they needed to support him and wanted him to stay in good company with men at the church. <\/p> They were praying my anger would calm down.<\/p> No pastor asked how they could help me and what they could do for me and my children. <\/p> What made me even angrier is they knew my husband paid every month and they didn\u2019t want to lose that, and they saw him serving.<\/p> I was in utter shock. <\/p> How could they do this to me? <\/p> Here I was, the widower of abuse my entire marriage.<\/p><\/div> See, my ex is a narcissist. <\/p> He was one way at church and another way with me. <\/p> He was doing all the right things. I looked like the crazy one because I was angry. <\/p> Of course, I was. <\/p> When I told them I was leaving their church, there was nothing, just that they were going to keep working with my husband and they hoped I would stay connected with somebody. <\/p> I left that church and never looked back. <\/p> They never reached out to me. <\/p> I forgave them. But, they do not understand abuse. <\/p> They did not take it seriously. <\/p> Not even with a restraining order, which is really difficult to obtain. <\/p> Sadly, I know multiple women at this same church who have left because they had the same experience.<\/p> Since this all happened, I found a new church home. <\/p> And, with the incredible support from my friends and community, I am well into my healing journey.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 7.5px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 15px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e65e40\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f3d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f3f\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f40\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f41\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f42\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f44\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e80f45\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e86c5b\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e8c7a5\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e8d6f7\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e9527e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 18px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e988d0\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e988d2\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e988d3\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e988d5\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e9abcc\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88e9abce\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ea30dc\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4c6\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4c7\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4c9\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4ca\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4cb\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4cc\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4ce\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4cf\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4d0\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eaf4d1\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34d9\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34da\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34dc\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34dd\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34de\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34df\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb34e0\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9ce8\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cea\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9ceb\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9ced\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cee\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cef\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf0\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf1\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf3\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf4\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf5\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eb9cf6\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e39\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e3a\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e3c\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e3d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e3e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e3f\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e41\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e42\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e43\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e44\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e46\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e47\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ec2e48\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb298\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb29a\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-decoration-color: var(--tcb-text-decoration-color,initial) !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb29b\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb29c\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb29e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb29f\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ecb2a0\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1863\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1865\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1866\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1868\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1869\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed186a\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed186b\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed186d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed186e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed186f\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1870\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ed1871\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb795\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb797\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb798\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb799\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb79b\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb79c\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88eeb79d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a79\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a7b\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a7c\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a7d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a7e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a80\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a81\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a82\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88ef3a83\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa429\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa42a\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa42c\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa42d\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa42e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa430\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa431\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88efa432\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f0149e\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a0\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a1\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a3\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a4\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a5\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a7\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a8\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014a9\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014aa\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014ac\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014ad\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-18a88f014ae\"] { line-height: 1.65em !important; padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec1a66e\"] { text-transform: none !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec20220\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec22146\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec25c19\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec2a826\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ec2cacc\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef08bfd\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef129d8\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef14a05\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef1bfcb\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef1d4d3\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef26efb\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef31e37\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef38d4e\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef3a04a\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef3a925\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef42fff\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }[data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef44cb8\"] { margin-bottom: 0px !important; }:not(#tve) [data-css=\"tve-u-1918ef4afc6\"] { padding-bottom: 20px !important; margin-bottom: 0px !important; text-transform: none !important; }}","tve_user_custom_css":"","tve_globals":{"e":"1","font_cls":[]},"tcb2_ready":1,"tcb_editor_enabled":1,"tve_landing_page":"","_tve_header":"","_tve_footer":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1798","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abuse-survivor-stories","post-wrapper","thrv_wrapper"],"yoast_head":"\nThere Was Also Physical Abuse<\/h2>\n
She Decided She Was Done<\/h2>\n
Clarity Began to Return, but It Wasn\u2019t Over<\/h2>\n
The Church Continued to Engage in Double Abuse<\/h2>\n
The Truth Was Plain, and She Finally Saw It<\/h2>\n
It All Started When She Met Him<\/h2>
The First Signs of Abuse<\/h2>
Jealousy Issues and Signs of Pending Trouble<\/h2>
The Honeymoon Was Destroyed by Pornography<\/h2>
The Abuse Grows Deeper<\/h2>
Emotional Abuse Became the Norm<\/h2>
The Gaslighting Finally Comes to Light<\/h2>
There Was Also Physical Abuse<\/h2>
She Decided She Was Done<\/h2>
Clarity Began to Return, but It Wasn\u2019t Over<\/h2>
The Church Continued to Engage in Double Abuse<\/h2>
The Truth Was Plain, and She Finally Saw It<\/h2>