{"id":1569,"date":"2024-10-22T07:53:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-22T14:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/relieved-sentence.flywheelsites.com\/?page_id=1569"},"modified":"2024-11-13T11:19:21","modified_gmt":"2024-11-13T19:19:21","slug":"how-can-i-know-if-its-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/how-can-i-know-if-its-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Know If Someone Is Being Abused | In-Depth Guide"},"content":{"rendered":"<p dir=\"ltr\">Understanding how to tell if someone is being abused isn&#8217;t always straightforward. In this guide, we&#8217;ll walk you through how to identify abuse, how to approach it, and how to interact with both the individual experiencing the abuse and the one perpetrating it, should you choose to offer assistance.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">In this guide, you\u2019ll learn:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>The signs of abuse &#8211; physical, verbal, and covert abuse, as well as general indicators of abuse<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Common tactics to look for<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>A guide for how to interact with someone experiencing abuse <\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>A guide for how to appropriately interact with someone who is abusive<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">The Basics: Identifying Abuse<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\"><em>Abuse is always a choice, and it is never the fault of the individual experiencing it. <\/em><\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Identifying abuse can be challenging for any Responder.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">When a story of abuse is disclosed, it\u2019s best to believe it\u2019s true unless you have information that leads you to believe otherwise. Between 2 and 10 percent of individuals lie about abuse; it\u2019s rare.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">If you are a responder interacting with those experiencing abuse and those who are abusive, the most essential goal is to &#8220;Do No Further Harm.&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">What to Look for if You Want to Know if Someone Is Being Abused<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Abuse comes in many forms, but covert emotional abuse is a common link among them. Our glossary of terms and definitions will help you identify the hidden abusive patterns that play out in abusive relationships.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">If you suspect someone might be experiencing abuse, it can be challenging to know for sure, especially because abuse is often hidden or in the shadows behind closed doors. Understanding the signs can make a difference.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Below are some things to be aware of and pay attention to that may indicate various types of abuse.<\/p>\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"\">Physical Abuse:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Unexplained bruises, cuts, or injuries in various stages of healing. These can be in visible areas or hidden under clothing.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Frequent or sudden injuries with implausible explanations or explanations that may change over time.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Avoiding physical contact or flinching at sudden movements may indicate fear from past physical harm.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"\">Verbal Abuse:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Consistent use of derogatory language, insults, or offensive remarks aimed at diminishing the individual&#8217;s sense of self-worth.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Frequent humiliation, belittling, or criticism in private or public leads to shame or inadequacy.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>The abusive person uses gaslighting and manipulation to make the individual doubt their perception of reality, contributing to confusion and self-doubt.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"\">Emotional Abuse:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Noticeable changes in self-esteem or self-worth, marked by a diminished sense of confidence and identity.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Isolation from friends and family &#8211; often due to the abuser&#8217;s control or manipulation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Fear, anxiety, or depression without apparent reasons, as the abuser plays on emotional vulnerabilities.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"\">Covert Abuse:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Subtle controlling behaviors, such as monitoring the individual&#8217;s activities or restricting access to financial resources.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Undermining the individual&#8217;s confidence and decision-making abilities through insidious comments or behaviors.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Using passive-aggressive tactics to maintain power and control, causing the individual to feel trapped or helpless.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3 style=\"\">General Signs of Abuse:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Changes in behavior or personality may be reflective of the impact of abuse.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Withdrawal from social activities or avoiding certain places, possibly due to fear of the abuser or shame about the situation.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Unexplained absences or fear of interacting with specific individuals, signaling underlying issues related to control or threats.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">This list is by no means exhaustive. Different types of abuse may present differently, and not all individuals will display the same signs. There are several emotional signs abuse is happening.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Individuals experiencing abuse may feel a lack of emotional safety, connection, and true intimacy. Abusive individuals are often avoiders, punishing through frequent absences with little or no explanation, or pursuers, requiring the individual to endure lengthy, exhausting discussions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Another sign abuse may be present in a relationship is multiple failed prior therapeutic experiences. There are several reasons why this happens. Therapists are not trained in matters of abuse and trauma unless they have enlisted in comprehensive Continuing Education Units (CEUs). Couples therapy, for example, is strictly prohibited in emotional and physical abuse cases, yet many therapists are unaware of their board protocols enforcing this procedural necessity. It&#8217;s advisable to consult with professionals who are highly trained in responding to abuse and trauma.<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">Common Tactics Used By Abusive Individuals<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Below are some common tactics used by abusers use:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Offer partial confessions to deflect attention away from the severity of their actions.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Provide harsh criticisms about the individual experiencing abuse, which may have snippets of truth but are riddled with deception and distortion.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Claim they are the ones being abused, especially as the individual experiencing abuse gains strength and asserts their voice.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Although individuals who abuse may be highly intelligent, they often have low emotional intelligence. They are disconnected from accurate emotions when relating to their partner or describing their own feelings. They lack the ability to empathize and are, therefore, unable to accurately describe what their partner may be feeling.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">If you suspect someone is being abused, there are <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/resources\/\">tools and resources<\/a> you can use to help guide you to respond in a way that is both helpful and healing.<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">Interacting With the Individual Experiencing Abuse<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Relationships where abuse is present are complicated and have a significant impact on the ones they harm.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">You may find that individuals experiencing abuse have a difficult time communicating their experiences accurately. They have likely been in prolonged states of stress and confusion, conditioned and oppressed in numerous ways over a long period of time. They may experience a wide range of emotions and vacillate between them at any given time.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">When no physical violence has occurred, individuals especially struggle to understand their stressful and confusing circumstances. Clarity regarding what <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/emotional-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">constitutes emotional abuse<\/a> and identifying the covert emotionally abusive behaviors they are enduring is the first necessary step toward awareness and healing. <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/resources\/\">Our list of Terms and Definitions<\/a> helps to bring them the clarity they need and deserve!<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">It\u2019s important not to over confront or under inform the person who has been harmed. Wherever they are in the process of understanding their experience, the best thing you can do is refer to and follow our Healing Model of Compassion for guidance.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">Interacting With the Individual Employing Abuse<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Unlike the individual experiencing abuse, the abuser often appears calm, cool,&nbsp; and collected. Sometimes, they may also present in an overtly controlling manner. And their stories of prior conflicts may be riddled with contradictions, further complicated by how the abusive person distorts reality to protect their image.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">To understand the mindset of the abuser better, visit<a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/can-abusers-change\/\"> <\/a>our resources page to learn about <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/es\/resources\/\">The Pillars of Abuse<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">It takes strength and courage to interact with someone who is employing abusive behaviors and tactics in their relationship. We strongly advise following our Accountability Model of Courage.<\/p>\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\">Conclusion<\/h2>\n<p dir=\"ltr\">Abuse is a delicate subject that requires understanding and empathy. By examining the dynamics of the relationship and recognizing the symptoms and behaviors of both individuals involved, we are empowered to respond in ways that can lead to healing, growth, and self-restoration.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Understanding how to tell if someone is being abused isn&#8217;t always straightforward. In this guide, we&#8217;ll walk you through how to identify abuse, how to approach it, and how to interact with both the individual experiencing the abuse and the one perpetrating it, should you choose to offer assistance. In this guide, you\u2019ll learn: The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":8761,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","tve_updated_post":"<div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Understanding how to tell if someone is being abused isn't always straightforward. In this guide, we'll walk you through how to identify abuse, how to approach it, and how to interact with both the individual experiencing the abuse and the one perpetrating it, should you choose to offer assistance.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">In this guide, you\u2019ll learn:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-check\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad572e\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad7723\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3c4a9e2\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3acf83b\">The signs of abuse - physical, verbal, and covert abuse, as well as general indicators of abuse<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad7726\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad11da\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3acf83b\">Common tactics to look for<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad7728\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad1e93\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3acf83b\">A guide for how to interact with someone experiencing abuse <\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad6bcf\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ad28fa\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon tcb-local-vars-root\" viewBox=\"0 0 32 32\" data-id=\"icon-check\" data-name=\"\" style=\"\"><path d=\"M29.333 10.267c0 0.4-0.133 0.8-0.533 1.2l-14.8 14.8c-0.267 0.267-0.667 0.4-1.067 0.4s-0.933-0.133-1.2-0.533l-2.4-2.267-6.267-6.267c-0.267-0.267-0.4-0.667-0.4-1.2s0.133-0.8 0.533-1.2l2.4-2.4c0.267-0.133 0.667-0.4 1.067-0.4s0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l5.067 5.067 11.2-11.333c0.267-0.267 0.667-0.533 1.2-0.533 0.4 0 0.8 0.133 1.2 0.533l2.4 2.4c0.267 0.267 0.4 0.667 0.4 1.2z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3acf83b\">A guide for how to appropriately interact with someone who is abusive<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">The Basics: Identifying Abuse<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\"><em>Abuse is always a choice, and it is never the fault of the individual experiencing it. <\/em><\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Identifying abuse can be challenging for any Responder.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">When a story of abuse is disclosed, it\u2019s best to believe it\u2019s true unless you have information that leads you to believe otherwise. Between 2 and 10 percent of individuals lie about abuse; it\u2019s rare.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">If you are a responder interacting with those experiencing abuse and those who are abusive, the most essential goal is to \"Do No Further Harm.\"<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">What to Look for if You Want to Know if Someone Is Being Abused<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><p dir=\"ltr\">Abuse comes in many forms, but covert emotional abuse is a common link among them. Our glossary of terms and definitions will help you identify the hidden abusive patterns that play out in abusive relationships.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">If you suspect someone might be experiencing abuse, it can be challenging to know for sure, especially because abuse is often hidden or in the shadows behind closed doors. Understanding the signs can make a difference.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">Below are some things to be aware of and pay attention to that may indicate various types of abuse.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3ae8c3a\">Physical Abuse:<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af41ca\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af30e9\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af1aa8\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af5915\">Unexplained bruises, cuts, or injuries in various stages of healing. These can be in visible areas or hidden under clothing.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af30e9\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af73e3\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af5915\">Frequent or sudden injuries with implausible explanations or explanations that may change over time.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af30e9\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af847a\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3af5915\">Avoiding physical contact or flinching at sudden movements may indicate fear from past physical harm.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3afe19c\">Verbal Abuse:<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b06b2f\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b08a49\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3c6d448\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b01100\">Consistent use of derogatory language, insults, or offensive remarks aimed at diminishing the individual's sense of self-worth.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b08a4b\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b02d1d\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b01100\">Frequent humiliation, belittling, or criticism in private or public leads to shame or inadequacy.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b07a8b\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b037e7\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b01100\">The abusive person uses gaslighting and manipulation to make the individual doubt their perception of reality, contributing to confusion and self-doubt.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b0e94c\">Emotional Abuse:<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b1a3b3\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b16ca3\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3c702b1\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b12948\">Noticeable changes in self-esteem or self-worth, marked by a diminished sense of confidence and identity.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b16ca3\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b15a25\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b12948\">Isolation from friends and family - often due to the abuser's control or manipulation.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b16ca3\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b16544\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b12948\">Fear, anxiety, or depression without apparent reasons, as the abuser plays on emotional vulnerabilities.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b27140\">Covert Abuse:<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b2ef63\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b30c03\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3c72b5d\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b29cff\">Subtle controlling behaviors, such as monitoring the individual's activities or restricting access to financial resources.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b30c05\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b2b496\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b29cff\">Undermining the individual's confidence and decision-making abilities through insidious comments or behaviors.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b2c6da\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b2c25a\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b29cff\">Using passive-aggressive tactics to maintain power and control, causing the individual to feel trapped or helpless.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\"><h3 class=\"\" style=\"\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b35f94\">General Signs of Abuse:<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b391a1\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3a5e0\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b39ab6\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3c802\">Changes in behavior or personality may be reflective of the impact of abuse.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3a5e0\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3dd75\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3c802\">Withdrawal from social activities or avoiding certain places, possibly due to fear of the abuser or shame about the situation.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3a5e0\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b4050b\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-circle-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M22,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,22A10,10 0 0,1 2,12A10,10 0 0,1 12,2A10,10 0 0,1 22,12M10,18L16,12L10,6L8.6,7.4L13.2,12L8.6,16.6L10,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b3c802\">Unexplained absences or fear of interacting with specific individuals, signaling underlying issues related to control or threats.<br><\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">This list is by no means exhaustive. Different types of abuse may present differently, and not all individuals will display the same signs. There are several emotional signs abuse is happening.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">Individuals experiencing abuse may feel a lack of emotional safety, connection, and true intimacy. Abusive individuals are often avoiders, punishing through frequent absences with little or no explanation, or pursuers, requiring the individual to endure lengthy, exhausting discussions.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">Another sign abuse may be present in a relationship is multiple failed prior therapeutic experiences. There are several reasons why this happens. Therapists are not trained in matters of abuse and trauma unless they have enlisted in comprehensive Continuing Education Units (CEUs). Couples therapy, for example, is strictly prohibited in emotional and physical abuse cases, yet many therapists are unaware of their board protocols enforcing this procedural necessity. It's advisable to consult with professionals who are highly trained in responding to abuse and trauma.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrive_leads_shortcode\"><div class=\"thrive-shortcode-config\" style=\"display: none !important;\">__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__{\"id\":\"7330\"}__CONFIG_leads_shortcode__<\/div><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">Common Tactics Used By Abusive Individuals<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Below are some common tactics used by abusers use:<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv-styled_list\" data-icon-code=\"icon-chevron-right-box-solid\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b53af8\" style=\"\"><ul class=\"tcb-styled-list\"><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b55727\" style=\"\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3c798d2\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-box-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M19,3H5A2,2 0 0,0 3,5V19C3,20.11 3.9,21 5,21H19C20.11,21 21,20.11 21,19V5A2,2 0 0,0 19,3M9.71,18L8.29,16.59L12.88,12L8.29,7.41L9.71,6L15.71,12L9.71,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b57be2\">Offer partial confessions to deflect attention away from the severity of their actions.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b55727\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b5af56\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-box-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M19,3H5A2,2 0 0,0 3,5V19C3,20.11 3.9,21 5,21H19C20.11,21 21,20.11 21,19V5A2,2 0 0,0 19,3M9.71,18L8.29,16.59L12.88,12L8.29,7.41L9.71,6L15.71,12L9.71,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b57be2\">Provide harsh criticisms about the individual experiencing abuse, which may have snippets of truth but are riddled with deception and distortion.<\/span><\/li><li class=\"thrv-styled-list-item \" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b55727\"><div class=\"tcb-styled-list-icon\"><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_icon tve_no_drag tcb-no-delete tcb-no-clone tcb-no-save tcb-icon-inherit-style tcb-local-vars-root tcb-icon-display\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b5bd6c\" style=\"\"><svg class=\"tcb-icon\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" data-id=\"icon-chevron-right-box-solid\" data-name=\"\"><path d=\"M19,3H5A2,2 0 0,0 3,5V19C3,20.11 3.9,21 5,21H19C20.11,21 21,20.11 21,19V5A2,2 0 0,0 19,3M9.71,18L8.29,16.59L12.88,12L8.29,7.41L9.71,6L15.71,12L9.71,18Z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><\/div><span class=\"thrv-advanced-inline-text tve_editable tcb-styled-list-icon-text tcb-no-delete tcb-no-save\" data-css=\"tve-u-192c3b57be2\">Claim they are the ones being abused, especially as the individual experiencing abuse gains strength and asserts their voice.<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Although individuals who abuse may be highly intelligent, they often have low emotional intelligence. They are disconnected from accurate emotions when relating to their partner or describing their own feelings. They lack the ability to empathize and are, therefore, unable to accurately describe what their partner may be feeling.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">If you suspect someone is being abused, there are <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/resources\/\">tools and resources<\/a> you can use to help guide you to respond in a way that is both helpful and healing.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">Interacting With the Individual Experiencing Abuse<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Relationships where abuse is present are complicated and have a significant impact on the ones they harm.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">You may find that individuals experiencing abuse have a difficult time communicating their experiences accurately. They have likely been in prolonged states of stress and confusion, conditioned and oppressed in numerous ways over a long period of time. They may experience a wide range of emotions and vacillate between them at any given time.&nbsp;<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">When no physical violence has occurred, individuals especially struggle to understand their stressful and confusing circumstances. Clarity regarding what <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/emotional-abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\">constitutes emotional abuse<\/a> and identifying the covert emotionally abusive behaviors they are enduring is the first necessary step toward awareness and healing. <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/resources\/\">Our list of Terms and Definitions<\/a> helps to bring them the clarity they need and deserve!<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">It\u2019s important not to over confront or under inform the person who has been harmed. Wherever they are in the process of understanding their experience, the best thing you can do is refer to and follow our Healing Model of Compassion for guidance.&nbsp;<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">Interacting With the Individual Employing Abuse<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Unlike the individual experiencing abuse, the abuser often appears calm, cool,&nbsp; and collected. Sometimes, they may also present in an overtly controlling manner. And their stories of prior conflicts may be riddled with contradictions, further complicated by how the abusive person distorts reality to protect their image.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">To understand the mindset of the abuser better, visit<a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/can-abusers-change\/\"> <\/a>our resources page to learn about <a href=\"https:\/\/staging.themendproject.com\/resources\/\">The Pillars of Abuse<\/a>.<\/p><p dir=\"ltr\">It takes strength and courage to interact with someone who is employing abusive behaviors and tactics in their relationship. We strongly advise following our Accountability Model of Courage.<\/p><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<h2 dir=\"ltr\" class=\"\">Conclusion<\/h2><\/div><div class=\"thrv_wrapper thrv_text_element\">\t<p dir=\"ltr\">Abuse is a delicate subject that requires understanding and empathy. By examining the dynamics of the relationship and recognizing the symptoms and behaviors of both individuals involved, we are empowered to respond in ways that can lead to healing, growth, and self-restoration.<\/p><\/div>","tve_custom_css":"@media (min-width: 300px){.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 15px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 14px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(n+3)) { margin-top: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:not(:nth-child(2n)) { margin-right: 30px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-18955080c98\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(2n) { margin-right: 0px !important; }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper { width: calc(50% - 7.5px); }.tcb-post-list[data-css=\"tve-u-17bf426ee59\"] .post-wrapper.thrv_wrapper:nth-child(n+3) { margin-top: 15px !important; 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